i often wonder why do i even blog ... even though i know so many people are reading my blog and secretly ... back stabbing me. something i say, will release an unwilling knife from my back but people just keep on stabbing me with more and more ... whatever it is. i just dont know how to handle it anymore.

i rather not blog here anymore as it helps "unknown" people to kill me.

i had enough of this. for those who are reading this. it is your fault.

you can say i am selfish and cant seem to blame myself ... but hey, think about it. it is YOUR fault after all.

i am done blogging. if i want to continue, it would be in another place. no more will i suffer this ... humility.

rick.

i just finished chatting with a long lost friend. she turned out fucking hot! well, she was always hot but now shes like fucking hotter than ever!! damn!! shes single and thinks that there should be more of me in this world. hahahaha such a sweet talker i can be :P

thats like kinda the highlight of june. fucking A!

other than that, finished my internship in bakerzin about a week ago and now im on a 1 week break. so time to relax and enjoy :)

oh, been ghost hunting lately. gone to bukit tunku, highland towers and hospital cheras.
fucking awesome! saw things moved but didnt see the real thing. most probably soon though cause of my craziness. heheheh so yeah.

other than that. steph, my long lost friend, is hawt!! hehehehe i assume she digs me ... hopefully she does. but damn, it was so nice just chatting with her. i love it.

im off to bed ... its 930 already ... eek.

rick.

so now im currently on a break. no relationships. no worries about another. just being myself again. i love it.

rick.

i will admit that i hate myself for losing you. but life goes on right?

she said no, so i have to respect her decision. i find it hard but i have to.

nothing else for me to blog here. just lost yet ... found?

rick.

so thats that. time to move on with my life.

she told me what i needed to know. not now, not never. she said no, i wouldnt have a chance to get back with her. so i guess that is it. the road named jac has reached its end and now ... i HOPE im starting afresh.

going through everything has been a tough experience for me. a few hiccups here and there but look at me, semi suicidal chef lives on.

even though i feel like shit now. im holding it all in. but its just at the edge of bursting. it hurts. yes it hurts. it fucking hurts.